Cancer Sucks

I've talked before about my dedication to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3Day. I walk every year in memory of my Grandma Shirley. I've heard she was a wonderful woman. I know I was given her middle name, a name which my sister and I both plan to honor in our children's names. But I never knew her. But I know John.

When I first moved to Louisiana, I was very nervous about moving without a safety net. But my sister continued to assure me that once I got here people would help me and want to take care of me. I'm a very independent person and I don't like to depend on other people. But John and Marie graciously offered to let me stay with them until I got my feet on the ground. I hardly knew them, having only met them at my sister's wedding, but I was so thankful for their gesture. Over the month or two that I lived with them, I had breakfast with them nearly every morning. Besides the wonderful homemade breakfast, I was also able to hear a lot of their stories. As a prominent Louisiana clergy couple, they have some great ones. They talked about their children, their relationship, the churches they've worked in, their Katrina story, and many other things. I feel privileged to be an audience to be an audience to their stories and to be included as one of their "children".

John has been fighting prostate cancer for the entire time I've known him and some years before then. When they announced that he would be going on disability and Marie would be relocated to another church, my heart broke. I was thrilled that they would be closer to their children and grandchildren, but, selfishly, I didn't want to miss out on their sermons, our weekly lunches after church, and their stories.

When Philip and I started getting serious, I knew that meeting my Louisiana parents was as important as him meeting my real parents. And thankfully we were able to do that when Philip was here for my surgery.

Recently John made the decision to go on hospice care and stop his 4 and a half year fight against prostate cancer. And I'm sad. He has so much life and kindness and generosity and the world will be missing that light.

But mostly I'm angry. I'm angry for his wife, his children, and his grandchildren. I'm angry for John, because he deserves a longer lifetime. I'm angry for for everyone who won't get to know him and see how amazing he is. I'm angry that I didn't visit more because I truly never thought that he would lose this fight. I thank God every day for the brief time with John that I did get, but I'm still angry.

I know the 3Day proceeds go towards breast cancer research, but I walk because a cure for breast cancer, in my opinion, means a cure for all cancer. And a cure for cancer means men and women like John have a chance at the lifetime they deserve, and the lifetime we all deserve to spend with them.